What if underneath heartbreak, betrayal, s3xual wounding, and all the ways you’ve learned to disconnect from your own body, there is something in you that has never been destroyed?
My friend and colleague, Dr. Saida Désilets calls it our desire to thrive — the current of aliveness that remains even after experiences that knock the air out of us.
Drawing from her work as a teacher of PsychoS3xual healing, and her own extraordinary life, including surviving s3xual violence and moving through three marriages and divorces, Saida and I explore what it means to come home to yourself after your sense of safety, love, or future has been shattered — and to reclaim your body, pleasure, self-trust, sovereignty, and capacity to feel fully alive.
In this episode, look and listen for:
- The terrifying moment when Saida finally dared to look inside herself for the “monster” she feared was there — and what she found instead
- Finding your way back to your body and your desire when heartbreak has disconnected you from both
- What each of Saida’s three divorces taught her about betrayal, self-abandonment, and love
- When the future you counted on disappears, how to stop grasping for solid ground and begin trusting yourself
- How to recognize the tiny “trickle of life” that is still there when you feel broken, shut down, or almost extinguished
- Discovering that the love you thought another person gave you, was actually generated from within you all along
This conversation is an invitation to remember that even after experiences that have profoundly changed you, your aliveness is still yours. And still here.
Pre-order Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce by LiYana Silver
And receive two beautiful book bonuses:
- The Waking Up Workbook to accompany the book, with all the practices from the book plus space for you to write and draw; and
- Book Club with LiYana: 3 weekly meetings in which I’ll read from the book, we’ll practice together, discuss, and have Q+A.
Order Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce+ book bonuses: liyanasilver.com/wakingup
About Dr. Saida
Dr. Saida Désilets wants to live in a world filled with audacious, sexually sovereign people, living life on their own terms. As a TEDx speaker, researcher, counter-culture creatrix, body-philosopher, and author, her work has touched the lives of millions globally.
Dr. Saida has two published books, contributed to 4 best-selling books, and has over 20 online courses exploring issues such as healing and reclamation post-trauma, transforming shame, reclaiming pleasure, and embracing one’s s3xual sovereignty. Her pièce derésistance is her world-renowned,1000 hour accredited certification program for professionals supports and inspires practitioners from different modalities to lead their industry in the conversation about s3xuality & pleasure.
The Embodied Love University, co-founded with Aaron Michael, is a comprehensive, s3xual education platform that provides s3xual fluency and free education for all. When not researching or creating transformational programs, Dr. Saida enjoys leading Wilderness Safaris in South Africa and swimming in the Aegean Sea.
Connect with Dr. Saida
- Embodied Love University: an intimacy-education platform for individuals, couples, and professionals, created by Dr. Saida Désilets & Aaron Michael
https://www.embodiedloveuniversity.com/
- Embodied Love Lounge: Podcast of leading-edge insights on women’s & men’s health, sensuality, s#xuality, & relationships. Join Dr. Saida Désilets and Aaron Michael as they Make Intimacy Simple & Change The Way The World Makes Love.
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/76OUUm2Pbi36Vsb7X8hbaw
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@EmbodiedLoveLounge
Saida’s books
Resources mentioned in the episode
- Dr. Saida Désilets’ Body Love Meditation: a short meditation for coming back into relationship with your body, especially the parts you may judge, criticize, or feel disconnected from.
- The Well-Lived Life: A 102-Year-Old Doctor’s Six Secrets to Health and Happiness at Every Age by Gladys McGarey, MD Chapter 12 “Look for the Trickle Around the Dam.”
- The Woman’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets by Barbara G. Walker
- “One Woman: A Song for UN Women”
Launched globally for International Women’s Day on March 8, 2013. Written by Beth Blatt, Graham Lyle, and Fahan Hassan.
About LiYana Silver
Relationship coach and author of Waking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce and Feminine Genius, LiYana works with women at the knife’s edge of heartbreak — reckoning with divorce, breakup, and heartbreak so complex it feels like a dark night of the soul.
LiYana guides women (and their partners) through (not around) the darkest passages of their lives. Through her transformational methodology, LiYana helps individuals, couples, and groups reclaim what they lost in the relationship, break repeating patterns, and emerge awake, aligned, and lit-up.
A former professional dancer and lover of painting with oils, LiYana lives in Asheville, NC with her son, their two cats, and a frankly impressive number of houseplants.
Connect with LiYana
Website: liyanasilver.com
Waking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce book: liyanasilver.com/wakingup
Feminine Genius book: liyanasilver.com/femininegenius
The Heartbreak Transformation Map: liyanasilver.com/map
Fresh From The Fire newsletter: liyanasilver.com/newsletter
Waking Up in The Dark Night of Divorce substack: liyanasilver.substack.com/